![I remember the call like it was yesterday. It was just after dinner one night when my mate called to ask me how I was going. But not the usual ‘how are you going?’ He asked me how I was really going, he digged a little deeper to really get it out of me. From [...]](http://softenthefckup.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/HDYHATC-252x109.jpg "How do you have a tough conversation?")
I remember the call like it was yesterday. It was just after dinner one night when my mate called to ask me how I was going. But not ...
![“I did not come out until the age of 23 and even then it was a very slow, nervous and calculated process. I was worried what the world would think – would I be turned into a second class citizen, does it make me less legitimate and credible and does it make me less of [...]](http://softenthefckup.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Ourchildrenarelistening-252x109.jpg "Our children are listening")
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SEXUALITY
Sexuality is by no means limited to being straight, or even being same-sex attracted. There are a whole range of different sexual identities people can have - whoever they may be attracted to and whether or not they want to do anything about that attraction.You might like boys, you might like girls, you might like both, you might like one more than the other, you might like older, you might like bigger, you might like smaller, or you might simply like drinking tea on a Sunday afternoon.There is absolutely no such thing as “normal”.
Your sexual identity is purely whatever you feel most comfortable using to describe yourself.
Coming out or ... -
Our children are listening
"I did not come out until the age of 23 and even then it was a very slow, nervous and calculated process. I was worried what the world would think – would I be turned into a second class citizen, does it make me less legitimate and credible and does it make me less of a person the moment the world knows that I am gay? I struggled for a while with my own sexuality not so much because there is anything wrong with it but because I have been indoctrinated to believe that something is wrong with it. After all, we're the ones who aren't supposed to be married, not supposed to hold hands in public or show any kinds of affection or risk getting bashed. What changed was visiting San Francisco. Sitting in a café on a ...
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Thinking about Death…
Saturday the 10th September 2011 is World Suicide Prevention Day. It's an important day to think about looking after one another and pausing to have a conversation with a mate who might be going through a tough time and needs to Soften the Fck Up....
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Wear It Purple Day
I remember the first time I read the email from Ben* (who is in the video below) whom I first met when I was guest lecturing. I cringed, my eye brows frowned and my jaws clinched. Growing up in a middle-class and loving family, Ben had a rather easy life. It wasn't until he came out to his parents that he experienced rejection from his family for the first time. Desperate for love and acceptance, Ben became involved in a relationship with a guy who was psychologically and physically abusive. He was introduced to drugs and after years in the relationship, which involved several unfortunate incidences, he finally tried to take his own life. Thankfully, he survived. ...
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What Stops Blokes
Seeing it as a Failure “Pull up your socks” “Get on with it” “Don’t be a girl” “Suck it up” “Don’t get all emotional” “Be a man about it” the list could go on forever. Whether you’re aware of it or not living in Australia these messages are taken in and often become rules or beliefs that we don’t stop to question. Australian men are born into a culture where we’re expected to successfully cope with our difficulties by ourselves. If we can’t we’ve failed.
More often than not the younger blokes who come to my counselling practice are at breaking point, they’ve tried everything they can and come to see me as a last resort. Things have gotten out of hand. Rather than waiting until you get to the point ...Add us