![I remember the call like it was yesterday. It was just after dinner one night when my mate called to ask me how I was going. But not the usual ‘how are you going?’ He asked me how I was really going, he digged a little deeper to really get it out of me. From [...]](http://softenthefckup.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/HDYHATC-252x109.jpg "How do you have a tough conversation?")
I remember the call like it was yesterday. It was just after dinner one night when my mate called to ask me how I was going. But not ...
![“I did not come out until the age of 23 and even then it was a very slow, nervous and calculated process. I was worried what the world would think – would I be turned into a second class citizen, does it make me less legitimate and credible and does it make me less of [...]](http://softenthefckup.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Ourchildrenarelistening-252x109.jpg "Our children are listening")
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CAREER PRESSURE
So, you’re about to finish school or uni and everyone’s asking you what’s next? Or, you’re already stretched to the limits at work and you receive another bloody email from your supervisor with more things to do.As if we don’t already have enough pressures in our lives these days, we also have to deal with the pressure to get on some kind of career path. Some people know what path they want to take pretty early on in life, but for many of us it can take years to figure it out. Sometimes things ‘work out for the best’ and you find yourself in a position you want to be in. Sometimes you don’t find that perfect fit - which can lead to further stress. Work to live, live to ... -
Thinking about Death…
Saturday the 10th September 2011 is World Suicide Prevention Day. It's an important day to think about looking after one another and pausing to have a conversation with a mate who might be going through a tough time and needs to Soften the Fck Up....
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What Stops Blokes
Seeing it as a Failure “Pull up your socks” “Get on with it” “Don’t be a girl” “Suck it up” “Don’t get all emotional” “Be a man about it” the list could go on forever. Whether you’re aware of it or not living in Australia these messages are taken in and often become rules or beliefs that we don’t stop to question. Australian men are born into a culture where we’re expected to successfully cope with our difficulties by ourselves. If we can’t we’ve failed.
More often than not the younger blokes who come to my counselling practice are at breaking point, they’ve tried everything they can and come to see me as a last resort. Things have gotten out of hand. Rather than waiting until you get to the point ...my story
not all of my story, but part of it
When I think of my childhood
When I think of my childhood, specifically the days spent at pre-school and kindergarten I’m greeted with only a smattering of memories. It’s amazing that a place I spent so much time in, a place that included finger painting and my first crush, Gabrielle, has been almost wiped clean from my consciousness. All that’s left is a few bits of caked on memory: like the dried detritus you find clinging to the middle of your plate after spaghetti night. Pirate day. That was fun. I had a plastic sword, a striped shirt and an eye patch that, while awesome, meant I quickly learnt the pain of a lack of depth perception. Clowns. I’m actually a little afraid of clowns, all told. They kind of freak me out. One of my most distinct ...
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