![I remember the call like it was yesterday. It was just after dinner one night when my mate called to ask me how I was going. But not the usual ‘how are you going?’ He asked me how I was really going, he digged a little deeper to really get it out of me. From [...]](http://softenthefckup.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/HDYHATC-252x109.jpg "How do you have a tough conversation?")
I remember the call like it was yesterday. It was just after dinner one night when my mate called to ask me how I was going. But not ...
![“I did not come out until the age of 23 and even then it was a very slow, nervous and calculated process. I was worried what the world would think – would I be turned into a second class citizen, does it make me less legitimate and credible and does it make me less of [...]](http://softenthefckup.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Ourchildrenarelistening-252x109.jpg "Our children are listening")
How do you have a tough conversation?
This post is an opinion piece by the author and does not reflect the views of Soften the Fck Up or Spur Projects. The author, Soften the Fck Up and Spur Projects are not professionals and this article should not be taken as an advice or support for or against medications. Every situations and individuals are different and it is best for you to discuss this with your GP or psychiatrist.
- This made me think
- Lightbulb
![I remember the call like it was yesterday. It was just after dinner one night when my mate called to ask me how I was going. But not the usual ‘how are you going?’ He asked me how I was really going, he digged a little deeper to really get it out of me. From [...]](http://softenthefckup.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/HDYHATC.jpg "How do you have a tough conversation?")
I remember the call like it was yesterday. It was just after dinner one night when my mate called to ask me how I was going. But not the usual ‘how are you going?’ He asked me how I was really going, he digged a little deeper to really get it out of me.
From a distance I probably come across as a pretty ordinary Australian bloke who’s had it pretty good. Finished uni, has a good job, a good set of mates, plays sport, I think you get my point. But the one thing that I have in common with every other Australian male out there is that at some stage in our lives we will all go through a tough time.
I was going through a stage in my life where a combination of family issues, relationship pressures and the fact that some people close to me were about to move away. It was taking it’s toll on me and it was starting to show. I was lucky enough to have a group of mates who realised this and stepped in and asked me to soften the fck up and let them know if I was coping.
Some of you might know of a friend who isn’t themselves at the moment. But you might not know how to approach them. So out of interest for the soften the fck up group I asked them to run through their process to softening the fck up.
It first started when one of my best mates started to notice that I was pulling away from the group & didn’t seem to be having fun when I usually would have been. He then checked with another one of my mates if he thought the same thing. After checking this with a mate they both agreed that I wasn’t my usual self at the moment. That’s when they decided one of them would give me a call to get me to talk about what was happening.
Although the call wasn’t comfortable it’s what I needed at the time. It made me realise that yes I was going through a rough patch, the realisation of someone else saying to me that we’ve noticed something is up kicked me into action to sort it out. I knew I was going through a tough time but it was when I got to talk about it out loud that I could actually start to plan my action steps to sort through the issues.
So whether you’re just having a bad week or it’s something bigger than that then it’s important to talk about it. It gets easier when you do.