"I did not come out until the age of 23 and even then it was a very slow, nervous and calculated process. I was worried what the world would think – would I be turned into a second class citizen, does it make me less legitimate and credible and does it make me less of a person the moment the world knows that I am gay? I struggled for a while with my own sexuality not so much because there is anything wrong with it but because I have been indoctrinated to believe that something is wrong with it. After all, we're the ones who aren't supposed to be married, not supposed to hold hands in public or show any kinds of affection or risk getting bashed. What changed was visiting San Francisco. Sitting in a café on a cold Saturday morning looking out the window, watching families – gay or straight – with their children, walking alongside each other like any society and community should. That's powerful. At that moment, everything changed. I thought I was in the future. I believe that there will come a day when I can be fully out and be free to love the ones that I love and show affection to the ones I love." -- Ben, 25 No matter which way you approach it, gay marriage is a very strong political topic. Compounded with major elections around the country, the daily buzz of “it’s wrong” or “it’s right” has led to, at times it being too easy for our politicians to lose sight of ...

At the end of last year, we invited you to let us know how we're doing with our first Soften the Fck Up survey. The results of the survey drove our strategy session with the team in mid-January and I would love to share with you some of the findings from the survey. The majority of the survey respondents were 20-34 years old although participants ranged from 14-19 years old to 35+ . When we asked how well are we doing, on a 5-point scale:   Blogs Videos Man facts Community Resource Average ranking 3.7 4 4 3.6 3.8 Ranking range 2-5 2-5 2-5 2-5 1-5 Most rated 4 5 5 5 4 We also asked you what are some of the issues currently on the website that you have been affected by. The top three issues were: Stress Feeling crap Body Image You also indicated that you want to see content on bipolar disorder, isolation, parenting, sexual assault, homelessness, emasculation, gender difference in stigma, self-esteem, guilt and information for non-blokey men. We divided the responses for site improvements into three categories. When asked what can our website improve on, you said: Information: more personal accounts of experience or more specific advice ...

Former Australian Wallaby and Rugby Union Winger Clyde Rathbone, has written an extremely honest and open account about his battle with depression and how he nearly lost everything. This is a must read article for all Australian men and we encourage you to pass it on. What we like about this article is that Clyde got to the stage where he thought he had no options left but he asked for help and started to talk about it and get his life back on track. All men will  go through a tough time at some stage, but talking about it will make it easier.  "I was lucky in a sense because the abuse I suffered was inconsistent and definitely not as bad as many others are exposed to. So I ended up a confused, conflicted & pretty angry child and I know what saved me was that I was always good at sports, I was good at just about any sport I tried and gradually over time I started to challenge some of these negative thoughts that I had by performing well in sport." Read Clydes heart felt piece about his battle with depression here

This post is an opinion piece by the author and does not reflect the views of Soften the Fck Up or Spur Projects. The author, Soften the Fck Up and Spur Projects are not professionals and this article should not be taken as an advice or support for or against medications. Every situations and individuals are different and it is best for you to discuss this with your GP or psychiatrist. Recently a friend of mine commented that one of the biggest misunderstandings other people held about her mental illness was the idea that “you can function without medication if you try hard enough.” This comment really resonated with me, and not just because some people around me have shared that same misconception. For a long time I too held onto a strong (but misguided) desire that one day I would be off the meds. I thought that if I just worked hard and got my shit together then I would be “better” and I wouldn’t have to rely on the crutch of medication to keep my depression and anxiety at bay. I thought as long as I was taking pills there was something wrong with me and I was being somehow weak.    I’m not certain where the conception comes from, but I think there are a few reasons why I had such a strong ambition to get off medication in order to become totally well.    I’d prefer not to have to take medicine every day. That’s for the same reason I would prefer not to visit the doctor every few...